Blog
17 July 2025, Thursday - Confusions About My Website And Life (WARNING: EXTREMELY BORING TEXT)
This is my first blog entry. I guess it's kinda dumb subject, but I'm really confused about my website's look. I mean, it looks clean and cool but... it doesn't look like a "website". What do I mean by "website"? Well, I sometimes check other Neocities sites and, they have constant, aligned box layout. Which has a navigation menu, a logo banner, a main content box etc etc. Which everything is aligned in a order and shape. But mine? It has a desktop design, everything is so misaligned. I mean, you wouldn't call this website a "website", would you? It is a desktop. The worse part, it isn't too mobile friendly this way, which is kinda bad I think. It doesn't even have an interesting or unique abality or feature. I mean, why a person would enter here for second time?
It's been like, 2 months since I created it. I actaully had different layout in first two weeks (it wasn't a desktop interface), then I changed it again but it looked worse and I was kinda dissapointed about myself and felt like making website was a waste of time. Then, to forget about the stupid stuff I made, I deleted my account. But, uhh... After one week later, I recreated my account with where I left on. I kinda felt bad after deleting it 'cause I really didn't have better things to do.
I mean, seriosly. I don't have cool hobbies to spend time on it. Example, I like listening to music but I don't know how to sing or make a music on a computer platform. Another example, I don't know how to make a good or interesting art. I actually not too bad at it but, not good as the most of the people on Neocities. I'm too lazy to learn it and even if I do, I don't know what to draw. Sigh... Maybe I should start to reading book soon. I hate reading but, I'm feeling really bored recently.
Maybe you're thinking "Couldn't you spend time with a friend or with your family, or someone online?". I... really don't know... I don't have friends. I don't know what to talk with people. I don't know what to tell them. I feel so empty. I don't have much to say anything. Even summer vacation doesn't make me feel good recently. School days? Even worse. You wouldn't wanna be in my position there. To being seen and treated as a loser or idiot or useless person. I hate everything about my highschool. From teachers to stundents, that stupid lessons and exams. Everyone looks and acts like a "hating robot". I don't have a close friend there yet. 'cause, I don't have anything to share.
That's why I made this website. And yet, still failed. I don't even have anything to share online. I tried to impress many people with creating this website, and maybe I did, even it's just two months old, I oftenly get sweet comments. The thing that doesn't satisfies me is, that what kind of this website is. I mean, it doesn't fit or reflect my personality. It doesn't remind me 2000s. Why I called it "DNL2000"? Because my another point was trying to make people recoginze 2000s for another time. Even if I'm not old enough to live Y2K, I really enjoy to learn new things about it. Like, these badly designed F2P games, low quality 3D arcade games, breakout games, old and simple website layouts, weird pop musics etc. They feel so original, so unique, it feels so friendly. And my website doesn't makes me feel that.
That's why I wanted to write this section. Maybe, I'll change my layout later to make something cool. But I don't feel like doing it right now because, I know I will feel like I've make it look worse and feel bad again. I don't have too much plans about it. It's kind of confusing... Wish I was old enough to live 90s/2000s. I could have more ideas to be creative. But, yep, I'm not... So uhm, if this website makes me feel worse, maybe I will delete it again and don't recreate it EVER. And, what happens after that? I don't know. You'll tell me maybe? :) sigh...
Well, that was a REALLY weird entry, lol. I don't know did you read all of them but, I'm glad if you did. I guess you felt too bored while reading it. You don't have to hide it, I'll never judge you <3 Frankly, it could be more interesting if you judged me X) Anyways, enough talking nonsense. I guess that's a goodbye then... See ya in next entry, hope you're having a wonderful day! <3